Friend, I don’t have to tell you that this is a concerning time for the trans community in this country. 2021 was a record year for anti-trans violence, anti-trans laws have been passed in many states, trans-centric books have been banned from schools, and misinformation and fearmongering is running rampant.

But in the middle of all that, love still wins. Below is a heartwarming and inspiring story of a trans love story that PFLAG SDC helped make happen. Do you have a story of how PFLAG has inspired, aided, or just stood by you? Send it to newsletter editor Louise Julig at ljulig@pflag.com and we might feature it in an upcoming newsletter. We’d love to hear your stories!

PFLAG Stands By Transgender Love🏳️‍⚧️♥️

By Tiki Inacay Posey

Our story is one of love triumphant. PFLAG San Diego County, in its own unique way, has been a part of this journey. Our wedding is the tale of love, community, and support.

Although finding love was not one of my goals in 2017, I did. I started attending Alliant International University with coursework toward a doctoral degree and was awarded a PFLAG scholarship the following year. PFLAG has been a part of my love and academic journey ever since.

I met Kasia Celeste Posey during my first year in grad school at a karaoke contest. She looked different back then… she had just started to transition, and despite her rugged exterior, I saw the lady beneath the facade. She was absolutely stunning. No, it was not love at “first sight.” It was the love of a lifetime, from the start. I fell in love with the tender woman I held close to my heart.

We struggled to find a place of acceptance for our love, and began to feel the hate on all sides. Many cisgender people were against our love and even some members of the transgender community, but PFLAG was there. Together, we took this as an opportunity to provide awareness through workshops on “Transgender Love Stories.” Annette Ottone (PFLAG SDC Vice President and AAPI support group co-facilitator) attended one of our first trainings on Transgender Military people.

Over the years, I have partnered with PFLAG through presentations, research, and community. When my mother died, I grieved and attended the PFLAG SDC AAPI support group. When our families rejected our love, Annette stood in the gap until my family could heal the pains of transphobia.

On Sunday, May 15, 2022, I married my best friend. Annette drove 5-1/2 hours to attend and help me get ready. We even took some time to attend the beginning of PFLAG SDC’s AAPI meeting so I could explain my formal Filipino attire and talk about the wedding. During the recessional, our wedding party danced and sang to Annette playing her guitar and a vocalist singing, “Stand by Me.” Thank you Annette and PFLAG for standing by me and our love. We made it, in many ways, because of you.

Tiki Inacay and Kasia Celeste Posey

Celebrate AAPI Heritage Month

Please join the San Gabriel Valley Asian Pacific Islander PFLAG on Saturday, May 28 at 3:00 pm to celebrate Mother’s Day and AAPI Heritage Month. Three AAPI moms will be sharing their journey of parenting a trans child.  As an added bonus, Marsha Aizumi, founder of the San Gabriel Valley AAPI PFLAG, will feature a book she has written on the subject. For the Zoom link, you may register here.

QTAPI Week

Beginning on May 29 and continuing through June 4, the Queer, Transgender Asian/Pacific Islander community is celebrating. Each day will cover a different topic: Healing Thru Poetry, Beyond the Gender Spectrum, Desserts Day, Colorism and the Model Minority Myth, Bonfire Night Light, AAPI Night. For details on each evening: https://sdpride.org/events/.

VIDA LGBTQ Latinx Scholarships

Apply Now! Just a Few Days Left!

The VIDA Community is offering three $1000 scholarships to LGBTQ Latinx individuals who have made a positive impact in our community and plan to change the world for the better. Scholarships are open to those students who are or will be attending college in Tijuana, BC, Mexico or San Diego County. The scholarship deadline is May 31, 2022. The details are on the application. To apply, visit https://vida.community/scholarship.

San Diego Latinx Pride

Latinx Pride

Latinx Pride celebrates the intersection of the community’s Queer identities and Latinidad on June 4th, from 3-7 pm. This year they are returning to Mujeres Brew House, 1983 Julian Avenue, for an afternoon of music, dancing, food, and performances. For questions email latinx@sdpride.org, and RSVP at bit.ly/sdlatinxpride.

D Wave Women’s Football Club Pride Night

Pride Night At Torero Stadium ⚽️

Join San Diego Pride as the community celebrates Pride Night on June 8 at 7:00 pm to root on the SD Wave Women’s Football Club (in Americanese, that’s soccer). This is the Wave’s inaugural season. They will have a Pride rally towel giveaway for all attendees! One dollar from all ticket sales go to SD Pride.  Prices start at $27.00: https://www.axs.com/events/431041/-tickets. Torero Stadium is located on USD’s campus, 5998 Alcala Park in San Diego.

It’s Storytime! 📖

The San Diego Public Library presents Pride Storytime and Dance Party. The first one is Saturday, June 11 at 10:30 am at the Kensington Branch Library. It will be held at Outdoor Park next to the library at 4121 Adams Avenue, San Diego. The second one is Saturday, June 25 at 10:00 am. The Performers are Raquelita and Barbie Q, who have the distinction of being Metro Support Group’s last guests before the pandemic.  Anyone who missed them, here’s a wonderful opportunity. It’s being held in the Mission Hills/Hillcrest Branch Library, 215 W. Washington Street, Hillcrest.

Pride by the Beach

Pride by the Beach 🏖

Pride by the Beach is celebrating its 15th year!  The community is invited to celebrate with the North County LGBTQ Resource Center on Saturday, June 11 from noon-6:00pm at the Civic Center, 300 N. Coast Highway in Oceanside. This a free family friendly pride festival- tobacco and alcohol free. There will be mainstage entertainment, community stage and dance area with youth and education zones, and over 100 resource and retail vendors. And let’s not forget the yummy food!

San Diego County Fair Out at the Fair

Out at the Fair

Please join PFLAG SDC at the San Diego County Fair on Sunday, June 12 from 11:00am-6:30pm. Located within the Fairgrounds, LGBTQ organizations will gather and spread our love to the community. Thank you to the volunteers who will staff the booth.  The fair is located at 2260 Jimmy Durante Blvd. in Del Mar.

Eighty-Sixed

Eighty-Sixed

Eighty-Sixed will now run through June 19th at Diversionary Theater. Synopsis: New York City used to be a party town, but 1986 finds everyone paralyzed with fear of AIDS. But BJ Rosenthal is determined to keep the party going — until an ex-lover becomes ill. Based on the celebrated novel of its time and set to a soaring pop score, Eighty-Sixed unearths an epidemic that shook the world to reveal a community’s ferocious fight to reclaim its future. For tickets: www.diversionary.org. The theatre is located at 4545 Park Blvd.

San Diego Black LGBTQ+ Coalition

🏳️‍🌈 Black Pride is Back! ✊🏿

The San Diego Black LGBTQ+ Coalition is hosting the 2nd annual Black Pride. It was so popular last year, that it’s being extended to the entire weekend.  On Saturday, June 25 from 3-9:00 pm, they will be hosting a DAY PARTY at RICH’S NIGHTCLUB. Admission to the DAY PARTY will give you free access to Rich’s until they close. For the Day Party, the ticket price for early birds (until May 31) is $22.85 (fee included). Rich’s is located at 1051 University Avenue in Hillcrest. The fun continues Sunday, June 26 from noon-6:00 pm at Hard Rock Hotel San Diego, 207 Fifth Avenue, downtown.  Early bird ticket price (until May 31) is $28.16 (fee included). This includes a pool party. The early bird weekend pass to attend both days is $38.77 (fee included). Tickets may be purchased after May 31, as well. For tickets and to check out the festivities, go to: https://sdpride.org/events.

Diversionary Theater's Teen-Versionary

In addition to producing fine plays, Diversionary Theater’s Teen-Versionary program offers free acting ensemble classes to LGBTQ+ teens and allies, ages 13-19. This summer they will be working as an ensemble to create, write, and perform a brand new show from the ground up that will be performed at the San Diego Pride Festival. Rehearsals start June 29th. More info at: https://www.diversionary.org/teen-versionary

📆 Save The Dates For Pride Events 🏳️‍🌈

July will be a busy month. Please take note of all the Pride-related events. PFLAG SDC is planning to have a contingent marching as we have all the years prior to the pandemic.  Of course, we can’t do this without you!  So that we make sure we have the numbers in order to march, please email if you plan to march with us: admin@pflag.com. More info will be in the July newsletter.

July 9  : She Fest
July 13: Light up the Cathedral
July 15: Spirit of Stonewall Rally
July 16: Pride 5K Walk & Run
July 16: Pride Parade & Festival
July 17: Pride Festival

Sister Ida Know

Tiger’s Pictionary With Sister Ida Know

Although the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence have been there for PFLAG SDC for years, Sister Ida Know (pictured above), is a big-time supporter. She is currently co-hosting Tiger’s Pictionary. What is that, you ask? It is played like Pictionary, only with several twists.  When: every Tuesday evening from 7:30-10:00 pm. Where: #1 Fifth Avenue, 3845 Fifth Avenue in Hillcrest. You may purchase raffle tickets which gives you a chance to win fantastic prizes donated by local community businesses. That is how funds are raised with donations going to worthy groups and organizations in the San Diego LGBTQ+ Community.  Over the past 11 years, they have raised over $100,000. Part of the fun is that there are no teams, and when someone correctly guesses a clue, they receive a free ticket for the raffle. It is known as a FUNraiser, with the emphasis on FUN!

Kurt Dearie and Annette Ottone
Front Row Annette Ottone, Vice President PFLAG SDC; Judi Stapleton, Asst. Principal Carlsbad High School; Katrina Waidelich, Co-GSA Advisor Carlsbad High School; Bottom photo: Back Row Kurt Dearie, NCC Facilitator PFLAG SDC; Krista King, Co GSA Advisor Carlsbad High School; Sarah Hunter, GSA Advisor Sage Creek High School

Leading with Pride

PFLAG SDC Vice President Annette Ottone and North County Coastal facilitator Kurt Dearie were selected to present at the inaugural Association of California School Administrators (ASCA) Lead with Pride Summit on May 4-6. This summit served to empower California school administrators and educators with the tools to create safe and affirming spaces for LGBTQIA+ students and staff. Their presentation was on Creating District-Wide Systems of Support for LGBTQIA+ Families, Students, and Staff. Top photo: Kurt Dearie and Annette Ottone. Bottom photo: Front Row Annette Ottone, Vice President PFLAG SDC; Judi Stapleton, Asst. Principal Carlsbad High School; Katrina Waidelich, Co-GSA Advisor Carlsbad High School; Bottom photo: Back Row Kurt Dearie, NCC Facilitator PFLAG SDC; Krista King, Co GSA Advisor Carlsbad High School; Sarah Hunter, GSA Advisor Sage Creek High School
PFLAG SDC BOOK CLUB

First PFLAG SDC Book Club Meeting A Success!

PFLAG San Diego County had its inaugural book club meeting on May 24th where we discussed Being Jazz: My Life as a (Transgender) Teen, by Jazz Jennings. We had a lively and informative discussion and are looking forward to reading more books together.

Our next selection will be the graphic memoir Gender Queer: A Memoir, by Maia Kobabe. We’ll meet in late July, so keep an eye out in the July newsletter for the exact date and time.

Gender Queer has the distinction of being the #1 most-banned or challenged book of 2021, according to Book Riot. It’s no coincidence that half of the top ten deal with themes of sexuality and/or LGBTQIA+ identity. Let’s find out what all the fuss is about  — join us at the next PFLAG SDC Book Club meeting!

If you buy the book on Amazon, be sure to sign up for Amazon Smile first (see how at the end of the newsletter) so your purchase benefits PFLAG SDC. If you’re more of an indie bookstore person, you can find it on Louise’s Bookshop.org shop (proceeds will benefit Strong-Hearted Native Women’s Coalition as well as indie bookstores) or you can request it at any local bookstore or library. If audiobooks are more your thing, check out the indie-supporting Libro.com.

Gender Queer

PFLAG SDC in Solidarity with Solana Beach LGBTQIA+ Students

Speaking of challenged books, the Solana Beach School District Board has voted to make it harder for students to have access to diverse books that include LGBTQIA+ themes and characters, including gender-affirming books. The school board instituted a policy which creates new, separate bookshelves for materials which they deem to be vaguely “instructive in nature, take a particular position on a debatable topic, or require additional adult facilitation.” The students could have access to some of these books with a parent’s permission. North County LGBTQ Resource Center is working with the ACLU and TransFamily Support Services to challenge the legality of what the district is doing. They have asked organizations to sign a statement to oppose the school district’s ban on these books. PFLAG SDC has signed the statement of support.

U.S. Trans Survey (USTS)

🏳️‍⚧️ Pledge to Take the 2022 U.S. Trans Survey (also includes allies)

Although the survey was to be available in March, it is now scheduled to roll out sometime in the summer.  You are still requested to pre-register, which will ensure you are sent the survey as soon as it’s released

The U.S. Trans Survey (USTS) is the largest survey of trans people in the United States. The USTS documents the lives and experiences of trans people in the U.S. and U.S. territories. The request is for all trans people ages 16 and up to complete. It’s inclusive of people of all trans identities, including binary and nonbinary trans identities, and also includes allies of the trans community. It’s no secret that transgender people face discrimination and violence throughout society, from their family growing up, in school, at work, by homeless shelters, by doctors, in emergency rooms, before judges, by landlords, and police officers.

Go to https://www.ustranssurvey.org, use the button below, or look for the link on our Facebook page and website.

😍 Thank You To Our Donors! 😍

Thanks to the following individuals who donated to PFLAG SDC this past month:

Jan Garbosky
Susanne Stevenson

And thanks to our regular monthly donors to PFLAG San Diego County. A monthly donation helps provide predictable sources of funding for our programs and scholarships and we appreciate it very much!

Anna Covici
Lonnie Brunini
Maureen Steiner
Michael Wasilewski

In addition, thank you to the following donors to the 2022 Scholarships:

M. Lynne Austin Memorial Scholarship — Ray & Jan Aller
John Bessemer Memorial Scholarship — PFLAG San Diego County, Scott Bernard
Rob Benzon Memorial Scholarship — Rob Benzon/Dan Ferbal Foundation
Stephen G. Bowersox Memorial Scholarship — Jim & Donna Bowersox
Daniel J. Ferbal Memorial Scholarship — Rob Benzon/Dan Ferbal Foundation
Kendall Family Memorial Scholarship — Terrie Vorono & Lonnie Brunini
Gary Marcus Scholarship for the  Fine & Applied Arts — Gary Marcus
Mary Wagner Memorial Scholarship — Art & Marilyn Carpenter, Sharon Murphy
Raytheon RAYPRIDE STEM Scholarship — Raytheon RAYPRIDE
Qualcomm Merit/STEM Scholarship —  Qualcomm eQuality LGBTQ Employee Network & Jim Ziegler
Qualcomm Merit/STEM Scholarship — Qualcomm eQuality LGBTQ Employee Network
PFLAG SDC Merit Scholarship — Clive & Olivia Dorman
PFLAG SDC Merit Scholarship — PFLAG SDC Scholarship Fund
Bill Hanson Community College Scholarship —  Bill Hanson
Bill Hanson Community College Scholarship — Bill Hanson
Personal Achievement Scholarship — Anonymous
Personal Achievement Scholarship  — Anonymous
“We Believe in You” Award — PFLAG SDC Scholarship Fund

Support Groups

❗️Note: some support group information has changed since last month

Support groups will continue to meet virtually until further notice. Check individual group for details. We encourage you to contact your support group facilitator at any time, as they will remain excellent resources for information. The support group locations, dates, and times will continue to be posted on the PFLAG San Diego County Facebook page. You can join in any of the digital meetings. For Zoom links, contact each support group.

Do You Shop On Amazon?

If you have an account with Amazon, you can help our chapter every time you shop. Go to smile.Amazon.com and search for PFLAG San Diego County. For every purchase, our chapter will receive .05% of the dollar amount of the order. This may not sound like a lot, but it adds up. So turn your Amazon habit into support for PFLAG!

Our Vision
PFLAG envisions a world where diversity is celebrated and all people are respected, valued, and affirmed inclusive of their sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression.

Our Mission
By meeting people where they are and collaborating with others, PFLAG realizes its vision through: Support for families, allies and people who are LGBTQ+; Education for ourselves and others about the unique issues and challenges facing people who are LGBTQ+; Advocacy in our communities to change attitudes and create policies and laws that achieve full equality for people who are LGBTQ+.